The Long Goodbye:Full hearted hugs had.
I want to sincerely thank those who came out to wish me (as well as Jesse and Ian kind of) a fond farewell as I departure to the cold weather of the east coast and the warm arms of someone I completely love.
I was pleasantly surprised by the turn out last night. Surprised because I wasn’t sure as to the full extent of the relationship that had been formed between me and you. Between the “fuck you’s” and “you are the devil incarnate” and “Oh No!! You’re coaching this class?!!?! NO!” I wasn’t expecting a warm good bye. As I said during the event I am not sure if you guys are excited for this opportunity I am pursuing or excited I am leaving. Probably both.
I do have to say that I owe almost each of you an immense thank you. Most of you saw me at my complete worst and occasional best and probably never knew the difference between either. Some of you have known me for 3 years and I would not be the person I am today and in the position I am in if it wasn’t for all of you. Each of you has shown up at our door step searching for betterment and at the very least an ass-kicking. Each of you has allowed me an opportunity to make an effort in improving you in some way. I cannot thank Andy and Cathy enough for allowing me the chance to try and make a difference in other people’s lives, hopefully in a positive direction. All of you have come seeking a positive change in the Look, Perform and Feel better categories. Through daily research, learning, testing, succeeding and failing I have made serious efforts to change you and in turn have changed myself as well. I’ve literally dreamed of WODs. I have woken up many mornings at 5 am lying in bed or taken sun rising drives thinking of who is going to show up for class, what they expect of me and what they would like to do to improve. I have taught people the naturally ability of squatting at least 2,000 times. I hope that I have had an impact on you like you have on me. I have made friends and forged elite bonds with people that I would not want to lose in life.
This iron game is an interesting one. There are no real winners or losers just those who suffer because we believe that through self-destruction we can find self-improvement. That through the inducing of sometimes extreme pain we can better ourselves and improve in a positive way even though this is an extremely flawed logic and fallacy.
I hope that soon we can meet again under long flickering halogen bulbs on concrete or thick rubber mats inside some industrial box gripping unforgiving cold foreign steel and make pour from our brows and souls our imperfections, fear and love. I hope that I have taught you something. I hope that you remember it when you sit back in your heels, find it in the bottom of your squat, feel it in the trembling of your elbows as you force lock out, hear it in your breath in the drop of a burpee or full extension of a box jump. I hope I remain there in those moments. I have shared an incredible amount with several of you. I’d move away from the cliché “blood, sweat and tears” and say there has been more. More than and including but not limiting to: laughs and triumphs, defeats and harsh realizations, not just the occasional smear of blood on pull up bars or the horrible heavy wretching sound made during dry heaving. I have been there for conquered and failed PR’s, times of finding another gear deep within yourself or those precious moments of completely letting go and giving up(in). I thank you because you have been there for my own such moments and did not turn your back on me. As hard as it is to believe I ask you to try and understand I have only wanted the best for you. Since that first hand shake all I have wanted to know is your goals both inside and outside the box and I have strived daily, late into the night and even on days off to turn them into accomplishments. I pushed you because I thought it was the right thing to do, because I believed in the soles of my shoes that what I was doing was good for you and most importantly because you let me. I know it hurt. I hurt alongside you. I will hurt across the country for you because you, I believe, want and hope the same accomplishments for me. You came last night and showed me what one person can do, the impact one person can have. The house filled and bodies strung about outside and each of you looked me square in the eye and thanked me and wished me well. That is a feeling I can never repay. I meant it when I sincerely and whole heartedly thanked you in return.
Again, I thank you.
-Coach Chris
Dang man, I just read the news that you are leaving good ole so cal. Not that I have been there for the last 3 years, but I still read/follow you and all the crossfit Simi peeps and pretend I still go there 3-5x a week lol.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, congrats on the accomplishment of getting a job and furthering your goals. I admire your ability to take a leap and do something new and I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully, I can do the same and move back to Simi just in time for when you come back.
Good luck and see ya soon,
Phil Boscarino
Chris,
ReplyDeleteI would like you to know that during yesterday's workout we were doing OHS. The women's weight was 65lbs which wasn't too heavy but also not light. The set of OHS was 15 and it took everything in me not to drop the bar and complete the set unbroken. But all I kept hearing in the back of my head was you telling me to breath and stay on my heels, and guess what? I was able to do all three rounds unbroken. That is just one example of how you have helped me over the past 10 months I've been at the gym. You're a great coach and more importantly an amazing friend! I look forward to following your blog, and honestly I'm excited for you and your upcoming adventure. Tell Heather hi for me, and good luck tomorrow on your first day.
Yours truly,
Bieber
Phil: Holy moses man!! I didnt really expect to hear from you! I hope everything going well with you. How's school? Thanks for the super kind words! They mean a lot to me, I sincerely appreciate that. It would be super sweet if you came back I cant wait to catch up with you. Keep commenting and let me know what you think. I didnt know you even read this stuff to be honest.
ReplyDeleteBaby Biebs:
So you are hearing voices in your head?! And worse yet it kind of sounds like mine. Oh dear! That's a sexy sounding voice to have talking to you during a workout. Clearly it must have helped ;) Good Im super glad to hear that. Towards the end of leaving and seeing how excite people were getting I would have to be honest and say I was a little afraid I wasnt doing any good. Most of you retaliate in some way by watching me workout (which isnt enough in Andy's eyes) and yelling my own words of encouragement back at me. I think they are good over all reminders and when I am focused enough, they are the same things I tell myself. Maybe I will record my "inner voice" during a workout. Im glad I can be your inner voice. Thank you for the super kind words and your interest in the whole shin-dig. Im happy to be hear, still in complete shock and have a lot of stuff to figure out.
Thank for wishing me good luck! I have to teach these kids to leave the ground. Im excited it should be interesting.
Talk to me soon!
Chris,
ReplyDeleteI know what its like to make some pretty drastic changes on a personal and professional note. There are some things you can plan for and some things you can train for. Others, you cant. I am more than happy for you, and what you are chasing. What I really wanted to tell you is you have made a HUGE impact on my life. I come from a family with poor health and I was falling down a VERY slippery slope fast. You have helped me understand what hard work is, not just pain and tears, but what it really takes to complete the WOD's regardless if my girl friend is kicking my ass. I have grown as a person, and I can thank you for that.
Till we meet again (with the exception of awkward Scype Moments and even more awkward text)
Junior
JRizzle! Much appreciation!! Between this and the text I received at 645am this morning I am taken aback. This isn’t the letter I intended on writing and in fact I wrote a completely different way more personal and beautiful letter that was not saved by the POS internet connection at John Wayne AirPort. I was freaking pissed beyond belief. I sat back and reread it and thought wow I should totally send this in to CF mainsite, this is amazing and the MF didn’t save. I was heart broken because it was everything I wanted to say to you guys. I have been getting emotional by this but I am really shocked at everyone’s reaction. I really didn’t think or even notice on a day to day basis the kind of impact I could and or did carry. I saw fleeting moments of helping people PR, or get on the board, or resolve an injury. At the very least I tried to make everyone laugh and enjoy themselves. My 6am class members were kind of aware of this. Its very hard to wake up so early and foam at the mouth from the idea of completely laying everything out in a workout and THEN finishing the rest of your day. But whether it was that early or 830 at night after bad days everyone kept their composure and very early on in my career with CFSV I took it upon myself to be a motivator, guide, guinea pig, hour of relief, healer and other such positions. I felt if I could distract people from the crippling weight of the world we place on our shoulders on a daily basis I was doing some good. But besides distraction I also tried to help those who wanted to progress and even in such a way where I sometimes feel that I fully accomplished and wanted to say “put the load right on me.” For me there was a huge transition in the gym to daily life. Like most kids that come through the door Andy had a huge part to play in that. I spent a lot of time with him right off the bat when we first got this started 3 years ago and then I started learning from “the members.” I never felt like I was special or knew more and when I was just another ‘kid in the class’ that’s exactly how I took it. I realized now I learned a lot from you all. When I do come back it should be interesting.
ReplyDeleteBut I digress. I am still trying to wrap my head around the impact I had/ could’ve had. Occasionally I heard compliments about how much info I can spill from my lungs or how I can get people to do things they weren’t able or knowledgeable about doing but for a lot of the time and especially at the end I started to wonder about my impact because there was a lot of comments made about classes and workouts and people avoiding me because of how and what I teach. I started to become concerned with the idea that maybe I was asking for too much, or setting up things too hard or being a ‘standards Nazi.’ But thinking about it now, sitting in some family restaurant in the middle of no where, not all teachers are liked, some students drop out of classes, bad comments and ill feelings are made and held towards each other. Those who stuck around for mine I personally noticed huge progressions ( Which isn’t to say I didn’t notice those in Andy and Cats classes – don’t get it twisted! – they have both made me a better athlete and coach and mostly every time I come in their class I hear of a PR. Cat provides a level in encouragement I don’t get from others and Andy is not only a motivator but someone I strive to be like and envy especially in the gym.) But I feel like those that actually wanted to learn from me did and those who wanted to at least listened lent ears and those that wanted nothing to do with me…well…
I appreciate all that has been said about me and it helps shine light on individual relationships that I will focus on more when I get home. As to you J to the R, thank you again. I’m glad at the very least I could help in some way. Now we just need to work on leveling the playing field between you and Ray Ray! Let the battle begin!!!
Amen Brotha. Rachel and I are there for you 100% on your journey. Just a phone call away. I look forward to you coming home and seeing our progress/transformation/pretty faces. Either way its all gravy. (Paleo gravy of course.)
ReplyDeleteJr.